The 21st century sucked ass by comparison to the 20th century.

Early years[]

Historians generally agree that the 21st century began on September 11, 2001, the date that crazed followers of Khan Noonien Singh attempted to extend the Eugenics Wars into World War III. United States President Jack Bauer heroically defeated the evildoers by explaining to them that World War III wasn't supposed to happen yet (according to U.S. Department of Temporal Security director Future Guy).

World War[]

The fate of humanity seemed sealed in 2053 when, from a secret bunker nestled in a remote Wyoming valley, agents of Ted Danson managed to get him yet another sitcom. Billions of human lives would be lost in the resulting conflagration.

First contact[]

Ten years later, a passing Vulcan ship picked up an old television transmission from the beginning of the war. The ship landed and its crew met Zephram Cochrane, punched him in the face, kicked him in the nads, and demanded to know what kind of species would give Ted Danson that many sitcoms. The Vulcans then used a Quantum Polarity Flux Detonator Charge to cleanse Earth of all life and began putting up condos.