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- And now for something completely different...
- – Captain Python moments before blowing up his own ship.
Rear Admiral Monty Python farts in your general direction. His mother was a hamster and his father smelled of elderberries. He was traumatized after his father bought him a dead parrot ("E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!"), although the father insisted it was merely "pinin' for the fjords". After this incident, Python decided for some reason or another that he should dedicate his life to helping Starfleet in stopping the Spanish Inquisition, which nobody actually expects. (Monty Python and the Sorcerer's Stone)
Before entering Starfleet he wanted to learn "how to fly a starship", but because he "had to play the grand piano" he never succeded in this task in Space Academy. Anyway, his first ship was the USS Spam, and his first mission was to fly to Spam nebula in the spam sector. When they reached it, he ordered his science officer Lieutenant Spambert "Spam" Spamson to spam the spam, but suddenly the spam spammed and spam to spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans and spam spam spam. (Monty Python and the Temple of Doom)
Python failed in his mission to stop the Spanish Inquisition since he never expected them. (NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!)(That was a bit predictable.) A failure as a Starfleet officer, he became a lumberjack and he was okay. He slept all night and worked all day. He cut down trees and ate his lunch and went to the lavatory. On Wednesdays, he went shopping and had buttered scones for tea. He cut down trees, he jumped and skipped. He liked to press wild flowers. He put on women's clothing and hung around in bars. He cut down trees, he wore long heels, suspendies and a bra. He wished he'd been a girlie, just like his dear papa. And everyone thought he was so rugged. (Monty Python and the Chocolate Factory, Monty Python and the Sundance Kid))
He also dabbled as a shrubber. (Monty Python and the Angry Inch)
- Monty Python was played by actors John Cleese, Eric Idle, Graham Chapman, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, Ben Affleck, Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Chris Rock, Bill Murray, Samuel L. Jackson, Jim Carrey, Charlie Sheen, Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Christopher Plummer, Tim Curry, Hugh Laurie, Rowan Atkinson, Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane, Hal Holbrook, Eric Bana, Christopher Walken, D.J. Qualls, Chris Kattan, Bill Faggerbakke, Patton Oswalt, Ron Perlman, Pierce Brosnan, Christian Bale, Gabriel Byrne, Oliver Platt, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jamie Foxx, Tom Cruise, Laurence Olivier, Dustin Hoffman, Michael Caine, Alec Baldwin, Adam Baldwin, Stephen Baldwin, Daniel Baldwin, Keanu Reeves, Daniel Day-Lewis, William Hartnell, Peter Cushing, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, Matt Smith, David Ossman, Peter Bergman, Phil Proctor, Phil Austin, George Leroy (Porgie) Tirebiter, Zach Braff, Orlando Bloom, Hugh Grant, Kiefer Sutherland, Henry Fonda, Peter Fonda, Jane Fonda, Robert Mitchum, Steve McQueen, Adrien Brody, Glenn Close, Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, John Ritter, Paul Bettany, George Reeve, Christopher Reeve, George Segal, Barry Gordon, Mickey Rooney, William Schallert, Angela Lansbury, Meryl Streep, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Bronson Pinchot, Brian Cox, Rutger Hauer, Sidney Poitier, Cate Blanchett, Macaulay Culkin, Louie Anderson, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Lloyd Bridges, Beau Bridges, Jeff Bridges, Morgan Freeman, Casey Affleck, Edward Norton, Art Carney, Jack Lemmon, Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, Chris O'Donnell (for, like, two seconds), Larry Hagman, Robert Downey, Jr., Joan Collins, James Dean, Sophie Okonedo, Daniel Craig, Heath Ledger (posthumously), George Clooney, Rosemary Clooney, Barbara Stanwyck, Lee Majors, Fred MacMurray, F. Murray Abraham, Don Adams, Fred Gwynne, Joe E. Brown, Bill Cosby, Robert Culp, James Garner, Fred Savage, Elizabeth Taylor, Al Pacino, Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, Chuck Norris, Rin Tin Tin, John Belushi, James Belushi, Frank Sinatra, Eddie Murphy, Gilda Radner, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lou Diamond Phillips, Jayne Mansfield, Mickey Hargitay, Mariska Hargitay, Ken Tobey, Tom Hanks, William Petersen, Brad Pitt, Emilio Estevez, Charlie Sheen, Martin Sheen, Grace Kelly, Tommy Lee Jones, William Shatner, Chris Pine, Florence Henderson, Jean Harlow, Tim Conway, Barbara Feldon, Yul Brynner, Kevin Costner, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Will Ferrell, Wallace Shawn, John Wayne, James Stewart, Scott Bakula, Lassie, Donny Bonaduce, Henry Winkler, Elijah Wood, Elija J. Cook, Verne Troyer, Henry Gibson, Rip Taylor, Rock Hudson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Whoopi Goldberg, James Cromwell, Sandra Oh, Kyle Maclachlan, Arsenio Hall, Tony Shalhoub, Seann William Scott, Michelle Trachtenberg, Geoffrey Rush, Russell Crowe, Ken Watanabe, Gary Oldman, Jerry Van Dyke, Marisa Tomei, Denzel Washington, Julia Roberts, Angelina Jolie, Brian Keith, Joe Pesci, Jim Caviezel, Daniel Radcliffe, Judi Dench, Chester W. Cincpac, Bruce McGill, Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Katie Holmes, Laurence Fishburne, Eddie Murphy, Daniel Dae Kim, Billy Barty, Burt Reynolds, Richard Gere, Catherine Zeta-Jones, William Conrad, Paul Frees, June Foray, Mel Blanc, Richard Webb, Gig Young, George Arliss, Fatty Arbuckle, Spike Milligan, Mel Gibson, Robert Englund, Jeffrey Combs, Tab Hunter, Steven Seagal, Jessica Lange, David Carradine, Tom Skeritt, Tom Arnold, John Lithgow, Bob Newhart, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Eva Gabor, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Buddy Hackett, Simon Pegg, John Goodman, Will Smith, James McAvoy, Jerry Mathers, Bill Mumy, Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon, Sally Field, Steven Hill, Peter Graves, Tim Meadows, Johnny Depp, Otto from Airplane!, Craig T. Nelson, Gregory Peck, Warren Beatty, Danny Glover, Jeff Goldblum, Bobby Troup, Julie London, Jack Webb, Randolph Mantooth, Kevin Tighe, John Astin, Sean Astin, Patty Duke, Sean Connery, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jodie Foster, Alan Alda, Kelsey Grammer, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Benji, and Christopher Lee.
Further references[]
- Monty Python and the Seven Dwarves
- Monty Python and the Chipmunks
- Abbott and Costello Meet Monty Python
- Monty Python III: The Search for Spam
- Monty Python and the Giant Peach
- Monty Python and the Bandit
- Monty Python and the Prisoner of Ass-be-damned
- Python's Labyrinth
- Brokeback Python
- Monty Python's A Series of Unfortunate Events
- Monty Python Strikes Again
- Dr. Python and the Women
- Monty Python and the Bandit II
- Monty Python and the World of Tomorrow
- You're a Good Man, Monty Python
- Beauty and the Monty Python
- Midnight in the Garden of Monty Python
- Monty Python and the Bandit III: Monty Is the Bandit
- Monty Python's Flying Circus
- Monty Python's New Nightmare
- Owl Stretching Time
- Octopython
- Monty Python: Truth or Dare
- The Ghost and Monty Python
- Monty Python and the Pussycats
- The Life and Death of Monty Python
- Monty Python and the Kingdom of the Crystal Spam
- Monty Python of the Caribbean: The Curse of Ernest P. Worrel
- Monty Python, King of the Monsters!
- Monty Python vs. Mothra
- Son of Monty Python
- Wes Craven Presents: Monty Python 2000
- Monty Python's The Quality of Life
- Monty Python's Life of O'Brien
- Monty Python and the Holy Rings of Betazed
- Monty Python and the Golden Army
- Monty Python and the Golden Shower
- Monty Python and the Golden Brooks
- Monty Python Meets Abbott and Costello
- Monty Python and the Pendulum
- Monty Python Meets Batman and Robin
- How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Monty Python
- Monty Python Meets Leslie Nielsen
- Not Another Monty Python
- Monty Python Meets Biggus Dickus
- Monty Python: When Nature Calls
- Monty Python Meets the Zodiac Killer
- The Last of the Monty Pythons
- Monty Python Meets Yahoo Serious
- Monty Python: The Last Stand
- The Passion of the Python
- Monty Python Reloaded
- Monty Python Begins
- The Dark Python
- G.I. Joe: The Rise of Python
- Monty Python: Revenge of the Fallen
- Quantum of Python
- The Python Identity
- The Python Supremacy
- The Python Ultimatum
- Monty Python (film)
- Inglourious Piethons
- Eternal Sunshine of the Monty Python
- The Unbearable Lightness of Python
- Henry and Monty Python
- sex, lies, and monty python
- Being Monty Python
- Annie Python
- Looking for Mr. Python
- American Python
- Monty Braso
- Blazing Pythons
- Dead Pythons Society
- When Monty Met Python
- A Fistful of Python
- For a Few Pythons More
- The Good, the Bad and the Monty Python
- Monty Python Doesn't Live Here Anymore
- Who Framed Monty Python
- The Monty Python Saga: No Mooning
- Monty Python Superstar
- Monty Python vs. The World
- Citizen Python
- Broadcast Monty Python
- Dinner for Pythons
- Battleship Monty Python
- Forbidden Monty Python
- Monty Python and the Daleks
- The Very Final Monty Python Movie That Is Not To Be Followed By Any Other Monty Python Movie For This Is The Final One And There Shall Be No More After This One For That Is Why It Is Called The Very Final Monty Python Movie
- Coming soon
- Monty Python: A New Beginning